In this study, we directly investigated, for the first time, lay perspectives on the costs and risks of forgiveness (N = 130). Participants described previously experienced situations where forgiveness was costly, from the perspective of a grantor, a recipient, and as a third‐party observer. They also identified occasions when they thought it would be risky to forgive. We employed complementary quantitative and thematic analysis strategies to examine prevailing themes. The vast majority of participants believed forgiveness was risky, with approximately two thirds reporting both actual and vicarious experiences of costly forgiveness. An overarching theme was that power relations are particularly relevant to laypeople when they consider the costs and risks of forgiving.