Current gendered interventions for couples experiencing intimate partner violence often do not address the complex systemic issues, nor allow for couple therapy. Experience of working in men's behaviour change group programs (or batterer programs) and with heterosexual couples, indicates this is not enough. Change options for men perpetrating domestic violence and support for partners are generally provided by individual services or gendered groups, located in separate agencies. This article initially poses some of the inadequacies of this gendered, ‘one size fits all’ ideology, which may compromise safety when couples stay together or there is shared parenting. It then explores further questions and possibilities raised by utilising a systemic lens in working with partners and families. It is possible to work systemically with a couple without compromising safety and accountability, where there is flexibility at intake, a both/and approach, ongoing assessment of risk, collaboration between professionals, and good transitions between individual and conjoint work. This article describes a systemic practice framework for working with partners, utilising individual, group, and conjoint sessions in a recursive four phase approach.