Objective To undertake an integrative review of the literature on relationships between community aged care recipients, family carers and care providers under consumer‐directed care (CDC). Methods Seven databases were systematically searched. Peer‐reviewed and grey literature on CDC between 1998 and 2014 were assessed using an integrative literature review (ILR) framework. Search terms included CDC, self‐directed care, direct payments, community aged care, community dwelling and older adults. Full‐text copies were assessed against the inclusion criteria. Results Fifteen studies met the inclusion criteria. This ILR found no research with a specific focus on caregiving relationships for older adults. The literature did however identify relational issues such as support, planning and provider attitude as fundamental to the success of CDC. Conclusion Relationships within the caregiving triad have important implications for the way CDC is enacted, particularly when the care recipient has dementia, suggesting this population as a priority for future research.