Objective Interpersonal models of depression and anxiety have not examined the role of interpersonal goals in shaping relationships and symptoms. Striving to promote/protect desired self‐images (self‐image goals) may undermine relationships and increase symptoms, whereas striving to support others (compassionate goals) may be protective, but clinical relevance is unknown. Method We tested effects of compassionate versus self‐image goals on interpersonal functioning and symptoms in clinically depressed and/or anxious participants (N = 47) during 10 days of experience sampling, over a 6‐week follow‐up, and in a dyadic relationship. Results Participants reported higher conflict and symptoms on days that they most pursued self‐image goals, but noted higher perceived support and lower symptoms when pursuing compassionate goals. Goals prospectively predicted symptom changes 6 weeks later. Lastly, informant‐rated interpersonal goals predicted relationship satisfaction of both patients and significant others. Conclusion Results suggest the relevance of self‐image and compassionate goals for the interpersonal maintenance of depression and anxiety.