Therapists have a responsibility to ascertain if psychological aggression, physical aggression, sexual aggression exist, and if there is fear of the partner. A fear of partner measure was evaluated in 100 couples who sought relationship feedback. Fear of partner's psychological, physical, and sexual aggression was related to actual reports of such behavior. For both men and women, fear of speaking in front of partner and fear of being in therapy with partner were related to reports of psychological aggression perpetrated by the partner, dominance, and isolation by the partner, and one's own marital dissatisfaction. Among respondents who were aggressed against, more men than women reported fear of participating in therapy with their partner. The measure herein can be used to determine the extent of fear of aggression by partners and to assist in the decision‐making about the appropriateness of marital therapy and divorce mediation.