Accessible summary Listening to young people with autism spectrum disorder is important. Researchers can help support young people to have their say. Each young person is different. The supports used need to match their needs. Summary This study draws on the first author's doctoral research on the mainstream schooling experiences of young people with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and their parents in Queensland, Australia. The aims are to share some of the practical strategies that were adapted and developed to engage the young people in the research and to critically reflect on what this means for future inclusive methodological approaches in this area. The key message is that diagnostic‐related assumptions about impairments can lead researchers to develop strategies which exclude or restrict rather than maximise participation of disabled people in research. To enable young people with ASD to provide rich and meaningful insights researchers need to acknowledge and plan creatively and flexibly for the interactive dynamic that is unique to each individual as well as for needs which might be shared.