This paper explores the experience of post‐separation fathering, in the context of a prior history of domestic abuse from the perspectives of mothers, fathers, children and professionals participating in a three‐year doctoral research project. A mixed methodological research design conducted over two phases involved both the completion of survey questionnaires by 219 mothers and the participation in focus groups and individual interviews by children and young people, mothers, fathers and professionals. The findings highlight clear evidence of post‐separation contact facilitating the continued abuse of women and children. The findings also highlight a lack of attention to the parenting of abusive men who were identified as struggling to realise their fathering aspirations and take responsibility for the impact of their abusive behaviour on their children and ex‐partners. Particular constructions of family life are found to sustain the often unmonitored presence of abusive men in post‐separation family life. This paper concludes by asserting the need to prioritise the construction of fathers as ‘risk’ in the context of post‐separation father‐child contact. Doing so does not mean excluding fathers from children's lives; rather, what is critical is to find ways to ensure that abusive men can be ‘good enough’ fathers. Copyright © 2013 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. ‘Clear evidence of post‐separation contact facilitating the continued abuse of women and children’ Key Practitioner Messages Separation is not a ‘vaccine against domestic violence’, with women and children at risk of continued abuse in the post‐separation period.Abusive men need to be held responsible for their abusive behaviour before the potential for safe contact can be considered.All of the key players – mothers, children and fathers – may need support from the impact that domestic violence has on parenting capacity and family life. ‘Abusive men need to be held responsible for their abusive behaviour before the potential for safe contact can be considered’