Background and objective Family‐centred care (FCC) is viewed as a pivotal concept in the provision of high‐quality nursing care for children and their families, yet implementation continues to be problematic worldwide. This research investigated how FCC was enacted from families and nurses' perspectives. Design Descriptive qualitative approach using elements of analysis from grounded theory method. Data were collected though individual interviews with 18 children aged 7–16 years, their parents (n = 18) and 18 nurses from two children's hospital and one children's unit in a large general hospital in Ireland. Results Four key themes were identified: expectations; relying on parents' help; working out roles; and barriers to FCC. Nurses wholeheartedly endorsed FCC because of the benefits for families and their reliance on parents' contribution to the workload. There was minimal evidence of collaboration or negotiation of roles which resulted in parents feeling stressed or abandoned. Nurses cited busy workload, under‐staffing and inappropriate documentation as key factors which resulted in over‐reliance on parents and hindered their efforts to negotiate and work alongside parents. Conclusions Families are willing to help in their child's care but they require clear guidance, information and support from nurses. Hidden expectations and unclear roles are stressful for families. Nurses need skills training, adequate resources and managerial support to meet families' needs appropriately, to establish true collaboration and to deliver optimal family‐centred care.