As researchers consider the "problem" of men’s health-related help-seeking, more limited attention has been devoted to gender dynamics in how men with cancer work with lay and professional supports during illness. This article helps address that gap by presenting a substantive theory of men’s help-seeking in the context of cancer. Developed using a grounded theory methodology engaging thirty men, results indicate that as men experienced cancer as a "biographical disruption" they used help-seeking to both resist and adapt to illness-related identity threats. "Help-seeking with a strong back" allowed men to build resources important to resisting shifts. In contrast, "help-seeking with a soft front" enabled men to obtain help to acknowledge and adapt to disruptions. Although both forms of help-seeking had value, most men experienced help-seeking with a strong back as unproblematic and consistent with masculine ideals, while help-seeking with a soft front was less anticipated, less welcomed, and less comfortable amid gendered norms discouraging expressions of vulnerability.