This qualitative content analysis project relies on a combined cultural criminological and hegemonic masculinities perspective to uncover constructions of justice workers and the gendered performance of policing. This study provides a typology of hegemonic and "complicit" or subordinate policing and masculinity models in six of the highest-grossing American police movies as well as the representations of the ideal and unqualified officer in the online recruitment materials of departments serving the 25 largest American cities. While "cop films" are an established subgenre within Hollywood, official police websites represent an emergent medium for the dissemination of a cultural self-portrait. By studying these various reflections of the occupation, this project engages with the characteristics, traits, and attributes associated with the police across Hollywood movies and police recruitment webpages, finding stark tensions between the commercially mediated ideal and that of the public transcript of the police. This study theoretically and methodologically develops cultural criminology by addressing the self-portrait of the police alongside models of masculinity and policing provided by consumer-tailored media within the modern "hall of mirrors."