This article explores whether gendered norms and beliefs about emotions persist, as people relive and recount unexpected incidents of mass violence. The emotional expressions of men and women after two school shootings in Finland are examined and compared, based on qualitative interviews with local residents and crisis workers. Two emotional orientations in relation to school shootings were identified: being affected and being detached. Women were associated more with being emotionally affected and men with being detached. However, there was not always a consensus on how gendered individuals should express emotion in the aftermath of a school shooting.