Accessible summary People with intellectual disabilities can find it hard to understand what behaviours are ok in what situations and with what people. These rules change all the time, and so it is important to be able to work out how to behave for each new situation. If people with intellectual disability behave inappropriately, they may be judged as rude. They may put themselves at risk and be unsafe if they do not understand what information is ok to share with others and how to say no if someone is behaving inappropriately with them. This paper describes a training programme that was developed to help people with intellectual disabilities to work out if a behaviour is ok or not ok. The programme also shows that it is important to think about the person we are with and the place we are in so we can work out if a behaviour is ok or not. Summary This paper outlines a programme Safe and Social that has been implemented with adults with intellectual disability across multiple contexts in a service based in Ireland. The emphasis within the programme is on providing service users and staff with a framework and the necessary language to discuss social behaviours and boundaries, moving away from an emphasis on rules and regulations. The programme draws on visual supports of three nested circles, red indicating ‘not ok’, green indicating ‘ok’ and a central circle that is used to set the topic of discussion. Over a series of seven modules, adults with intellectual disabilities and their support staff are encouraged to collaboratively problem solve some of the behaviours and understandings that can undermine social acceptability and compromise personal safety. Based on positive outcomes over a five‐year period, we highlight the need for further research to explore the effectiveness of the programme.