Accessible summary People with intellectual disability need to be able to talk about the things that are important to them in their lives. This includes talking about their sexuality and the type of relationships they would like to have. A self‐advocacy group did research about this subject with our support. Together we found that sexuality is an important topic for many people with intellectual disability. There are those who would like to have more opportunities to have sexual relationships. Summary This paper presented research undertaken in collaboration with a self‐advocacy group using inclusive research methods and puts forward the views of people with intellectual disability on the topics of sexuality and relationships. The paper presents the perceptions of sexuality of the people with intellectual disability and how these are influenced by social and cultural norms. Using Judith Bulter's concept of performativity, the analysis of the findings shows how some people with intellectual disability accept the sexual norms that are ascribed to them, while others resist them. The paper also shows how the inclusive research process itself enabled the people with intellectual disability who took part to articulate their acceptance or resistance of these norms.