"I Learned Things That Make Me Happy, Things That Bring Me Down": Lessons From Romantic Relationships in Adolescence and Emerging Adulthood
Journal of Adolescent Research
Published online on September 23, 2015
Abstract
Early romantic relationships have been described as the "learning context" and "training ground" for future intimate relationships; however, research has yet to examine the lessons that individuals take away from such relationships. In the present mixed-methods, longitudinal study, 348 adolescents and emerging adults (53% girls/young women) between the ages of 15 and 23 years were asked to reflect on and report the lessons they learned from romantic relationships in which they were involved 1 year ago (Time 1). These lessons were found to reflect the areas of romantic competence proposed by Shulman et al., including social cognitive maturity, romantic agency, and coherence. Quantitative analyses revealed that girls/young women more often referenced all three of the investigated areas of romantic competence than did boys/young men. In addition, emerging adults and individuals whose relationships were still intact at Time 2 more often referenced social cognitive maturity and coherence, whereas adolescents and individuals whose relationships ended by Time 2 more often referenced romantic agency. Furthermore, qualitative analyses revealed important gender and age differences in the ways adolescent girls and boys and emerging adult women and men described their lessons. In general, results suggest an experiential component to the development of romantic competence that complements developmental factors.