Background The importance of patient participation and involvement is now widely acknowledged; in the past, few systematic health‐care institution policies existed to establish sustainable co‐operation. In 2004, in Germany, the initiative ‘Self‐Help Friendliness (SHF) and Patient‐Centeredness in Health Care’ was launched to establish and implement quality criteria related to collaboration with patient groups. Objectives The objective of this study was to describe (i) how patients were involved in the development of SHF by summarizing a number of studies and (ii) a new survey on the importance and feasibility of SHF. Setting and participants In a series of participative studies, SHF was shaped, tested and implemented in 40 health‐care institutions in Germany. Representatives from 157 self‐help groups (SHGs), 50 self‐help organizations and 17 self‐help clearing houses were actively involved. The second objective was reached through a survey of 74 of the 115 member associations of the biggest self‐help umbrella organization at federal level (response rate: 64 %). Results Patient involvement included the following: identification of the needs and wishes of SHGs regarding co‐operation, their involvement in the definition of quality criteria of co‐operation, having a crucial role during the implementation of SHF and accrediting health‐care institutions as self‐help friendly. The ten criteria in total were positively valued and perceived as moderately practicable. Conclusions Through the intensive involvement of self‐help representatives, it was feasible to develop SHF as a systematic approach to closer collaboration of professionals and SHGs. Some challenges have to be taken into account involving patients and the limitations of our empirical study.