While there is a growing research interest in the experiences of children exposed to intimate partner violence (IPV), the role of children's social networks, other than the role of mothers, has been little discussed. The aim of this article is to study older children's stories of how they, and the adults in their social networks, respond to IPV. More specifically, we are interested in how older children describe both their own responses when exposed to IPV and responses from adults. This article focuses on the narratives of older children since they are often in a liminal position between adulthood and childhood, which may be consequential for their and others' responses to violence. The article shows that responses are interactional and that children's responses affect how adults respond. Our analysis suggests that adults are positioning children as either adult‐like and competent or vulnerable, and this impacts significantly on the support that they receive. In our data, there are, however, also examples of middle ways where children are positioned as vulnerable yet capable. This seems linked to children's abilities to communicate their own needs. Although the study sample is limited, our results point to the significance of gender for how children respond. Copyright © 2016 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. ‘Focuses on the narratives of older children since they are often in a liminal position between adulthood and childhood’ Key Practitioner Messages Social network responses can be crucial to the disclosure, ending and continuation of IPV. Awareness of exposure to IPV does not automatically result in responses that are beneficial to children's wellbeing. Professionals need to be better at communicating with the social network. Children's responses are contextual and protection and support should be designed according to children's individually varying needs. ‘Awareness of exposure to IPV does not automatically result in responses that are beneficial to children's wellbeing’