This article examines the tension between population‐level and individual‐level interests regarding childbearing, from Malthus's concern for overpopulation to the contemporary issue of son preference, and argues for an understanding of individual‐level interests that distinguishes parents from households. In making this distinction, we draw attention to how gender norms can play an important role in shaping reproductive interests. Survey data and previous work show a wealth of differences in the number of children men and women would like to have, and in their behaviors toward the children they have. We argue not that gender norms cause women to want more children than men, but that they cause women to want children more, for reasons that include time spent with children, old‐age support, women's proscribed opportunities for achieving social standing, and the relationship in many contexts between honorable female adulthood and bearing children at the right time and under the right circumstances. We further argue that a just and effective population policy must consider fertility outcomes at multiple scales, including that of the welfare of individual women.