Background Friends are important in childhood and adolescence, especially to bullied children. Technology mediated communication (TMC) could be used both to develop and maintain friendship. The present study examined (1) trends in the use of TMC with friends between 2001 and 2010; (2) possible differences between bullied and not bullied children and (3) differences between children with few close friends and children with several close friends. Methods Data were obtained from three waves of the serial cross‐sectional Health Behaviour in School‐Aged Children survey conducted in Denmark, Finland, Iceland and Sweden during 2001/2002, 2005/2006 and 2009/2010. The total sample consisted of 65 953 children aged 11, 13 and 15. Results Two trends were observed. The first trend showed an increased use of TMC in all countries. Children that were not bullied and/or had several close friends had increased their use of TMC with friends from 2001 to 2010. The second trend was applicable only for bullied children with few close friends; they had not as other children increased their use of TMC and thus remained at the same levels as in 2001/2002. Conclusions Bullied children with few close friends were excluded from communication forums that usually allow children to maintain and develop friendships. This is a concern because friends are important during childhood and adolescence, especially for bullied children.