The study aimed to investigate the experience of adults with a diagnosis of psychosis and who have survived childhood physical abuse. We interviewed eight participants and used interpretative phenomenological analysis to generate themes. The main themes were of perceiving an everyday world of aggression and contempt by others, pervasive mistrust, feeling isolated and for some, attacking oneself with hate. Most participants were also able to reflect on what they saw as ‘paranoia’ or ‘voices’. Paranoia was described as a fluctuating compulsive ‘thread’ of meaning, feeling and sometimes a transformation of the self. The paranoia and voices experienced often involved a dread of murderous obliteration. The discussion considers the relevance of altered consciousness, psychotic states of self and the contribution of mutating narrative and meaning. Our findings point to the importance of therapy for interpersonal difficulties and the long‐term effects of trauma. Copyright © 2016 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.