A persistent assumption across the psychological literature is that talking and writing about one's stress is inherently more beneficial than avoiding it. This study compared the effects of these stress management strategies on personal and relational health. Two hundred and fifty‐one dating individuals focused on a stressor that was a current source of rumination. Writing about one's stressor for 5 consecutive days (without talking about it) decreased anxiety the most. Talking continuously about one's stressor to a dating partner harmed the relationship more than writing about or avoiding it. The effect of talking repeatedly about one's stressor on relationship quality and brooding, however, depended upon the emotional support received from one's dating partner and the ability to reappraise (positively or neutrally) the stressor.