This research tests the prediction that unforgiving motivations (feelings of revenge and distance) toward the ex‐spouse are associated with less reported well‐being of divorced parents and their children when the intent to maintain contact with the ex‐partner is high rather than low. It is also predicted that unforgiving motivations are associated with more reported conflict with the ex‐partner and subsequently with less reported well‐being of their children when the actual contact frequency with the ex‐partner is high rather than low. Results from an Internet sample of Dutch divorced parents (N = 108) largely support these predictions. It is concluded that unforgiving motivations can have both intrapersonal and interpersonal negative effects for divorced parents, but only when contact is frequent or intended.