This article describes the views of Tibetan women who have experienced physical violence from male intimate partners. How they conceptualise abuse, their views on acceptable versus unacceptable hitting, and the acts besides hitting which they felt to be unacceptable or abusive, are explored. Views of survivors’ relatives/friends and men who have hit their wives are also included. Western-based domestic violence theory is shown to be incommensurate with abuse in particular socio-cultural settings. As feminist scholars emphasize listening deeply to voices of women in the global South, this article demonstrates how such listening might be undertaken when the views expressed by women diverge from feminism.