An emerging consensus argues for the importance of spousal support in our understanding of how relationships succeed or fail. This report covers two studies that examined support seeking, support provision and support perception in distressed married couples. In Study 1 a total of seventy distressed and seventy non‐distressed couples participated in a survey study; in Study 2 twenty distressed and twenty non‐distressed couples participated in an observational study. Global self‐reports were used in both studies to assess spouses’ support behaviour and perceived support. These measures were supplemented in Study 2 with measures of observed support behaviour and interaction‐based perceived support as assessed during specific support interactions. Our self‐report and observational measures consistently indicated that distressed marital couples display lower levels of positive support‐seeking and emotional or instrumental support provision than non‐distressed couples. We also found evidence for higher levels of negative support‐seeking and provision behaviour in distressed couples, as compared to non‐distressed couples. Distressed spouses also reported lower levels of global and interaction‐based perceived support than non‐distressed spouses. Practitioner points Assess and evaluate the different support behaviour in couples Explain the interactional support behaviour cycle Increase support skills within the couple Detect and block negative support behaviour