In this article we review Johnella Bird's notion of relational consciousness, explaining it in terms of an ethnomethodologically informed social constructionist theory. We extend this notion to her conversational practices in therapy, examining first her general practice (and focus) on relational language‐making. We then turn to describing three of her specific conversational practices – negotiating conflicting discursive positions between partners in a relationship, exploring a partner's experience of hurt in a relationship, following unspoken assumptions, and negotiating power relations. We conclude by relating relational consciousness to an attendance to language as it is used by clients and by therapists in dialogue with clients.