Working with a family from a cultural background other than one's own is considered to be challenging for the therapist. Influenced by social constructionism, the family therapy field highlights the importance of contingency and cultural differences and therapists are encouraged to develop their cultural competency in order to deal with these differences. In this article, starting from contemporary critiques of notions of Western societies' cultural diversity, we address the way in which the cultural competency framework, by highlighting the importance of cultural differences and the therapist's culture‐specific knowledge, may underestimate the importance of the social dimensions of the issues involved. Furthermore, highlighting cultural differences may obscure the shared humanity present in a transcultural encounter. In this article, as an alternative to the cultural competency framework, we propose a view of intercultural family therapy in which the unresolvable dialectical tension between differences and universalities is central. Practitioner points The article addresses the challenge of working with families from diverse cultural backgrounds. The traditional framework of cultural competence is critically reviewed. Family therapists should not only be open for cultural differences, but also for universalities and especially for the never‐ending tension between differences and universalities.