Infant and early childhood mental health consultation has emerged as one of the most common and effective strategies for supporting young children's socioemotional development. A key contributing factor for successful outcomes with this approach is the mental health consultant–consultee relationship. However, there have been no in‐depth qualitative studies to examine the intersubjective nature of the infant and early childhood mental health consultant–program administrator consultee relationship. In this study, 10 infant and early childhood mental health consultants and 15 program administrator consultees who worked together on the Erikson Institute–Illinois State Board of Education Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Consultation Project were interviewed using qualitative, constructivist, grounded theory methodology. Results suggest that there are multiple internal and external factors that influence the consultant–administrator relationship, resulting in each relationship being a unique, co‐created relationship while sharing similar overall characteristics. Although the relationship can be challenging, especially for consultants during the engagement process, through repeated interactions with each other over an extended period of time, consultants and administrators increasingly experience the relationship to be positive and transformative. Similar to other studies on the early childhood mental health consultant–consultee relationship, it was found that there is a clear relationship between consultants’ and administrators’ perceptions of the relationship.