The individual‐system relationship is one of the core, and most controversial, issues that have animated family therapy discussions since their origins. We advance the idea that an important point of departure for addressing this issue is the contamination of family therapy with constructs and methods coming from systemic research into normal family processes, such as the notion of stance‐taking. Relying on empirical data taken from a study conducted with families dealing with adolescents, we introduce and discuss the notion of stance‐taking as an innovative methodological procedure that can illuminate the individual‐system relationship while family interactions unfold. For the purpose of this article, we present and describe three selected family cases that document the potentialities of the stance‐taking process analysis for studying the individual‐system relationship, thus offering cues to systemic research and practice in family therapy. Practitioner points The stance‐taking process analysis allows clinical practitioners to develop systematic and empirically informed hypotheses. Pointing out the different stances taken by each member during family interactions, therapists can make such variability into a resource to promote change. Therapists can be trained to observe how their stances shape the ongoing process, and act in the unfolding conversations to transform the emerging patterns.