Background Mentoring has typically been used with young offenders. A pilot‐mentoring project has been introduced in the UK for high‐risk intimate partner violence (IPV) offenders. Aims The aim of the study was to evaluate how serial and high‐risk IPV men engaged with mentoring and how change was initiated for this population. Methods Interviews were conducted with two mentors, six mentees and four support workers, and file notes for 16 mentees were examined. Thematic analysis was employed to analyse the data. Results The global theme, tools and techniques that facilitate engagement comprised two organising themes, building relationships and tenacity of the mentor, which explained how engagement was initiated and driven. Catalysts to initiate change with its two organising themes, hooks and focus on the future, captured factors that act as potential turning points or triggers for the mentees to address their use of IPV and start the process of change. Conclusions Mentoring is an innovative and alternative approach for engaging intervention‐resistant serial and high‐risk IPV perpetrators, enabling them to identify their need to change and laying down the foundation that could facilitate this change. Copyright © 2015 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.