Scholars and policy makers have argued that because altruism drives remittance sending, migrant money is more resilient to uncertainty than other capital flows. In this article, I question this assumption through ethnographic examination of remittance sending by Peruvian migrant families. When in their lives do Peruvian migrants start to remit? Who are the recipients? What is the purpose of their remittances? How long do they last and why do they stop? I argue that, to answer these questions, we need to investigate how migrants make remittance commitments to different household members, how these attribute value to the remittances and how this value becomes the object of negotiation and contestation. The findings indicate that remittances reinforce existing relations of gender, generation and class in Peruvian society and suggest that while short‐lived remittances are based on contractual commitments and driven by altruism, long‐term remittances are based on emotional commitments and driven by both non‐utilitarian and utilitarian motives.