The purpose of this study was to understand differences in one's ability to implement relationship self‐regulation (RSR) in marriage based on the family‐of‐origin variables of parent–child relationship quality, parental marital satisfaction and current emotional health. The participants were 484 married couples who completed the relationship evaluation. Structural equation modelling was used to test a model that showed that the actor and partner's emotional health were associated with RSR in marriage, while most family‐of‐origin factors were not directly associated with RSR. However, the perceived mother–child relationship quality was associated with RSR for wives, but not husbands, when controlling for the other variables in the model. There were no significant relationships between father–child relationship quality or parental marital satisfaction and RSR. Implications for couple therapists and educators are discussed. Practitioner points Relationship self‐regulation (RSR) involves recognizing one's own positive and negative contribution to the relationship. Emotional health affects RSR and should be attended to in work with couples. Helping partners address emotional health issues may increase a couple's ability to collaboratively work on their relationship. Open expression of emotions and positive communication skills may decrease emotional health symptomology and increase the couples' use of RSR. 用原生家庭经历和情绪健康状况预测婚姻中的关系自我调节 本研究的目的是根据亲子关系质量、父母婚姻关系满意度等原生家庭变量, 以及当下的情绪健康状况来理解个人在关系自我调节（RSR）方面能力的不同。被试是484对完成关系评估的已婚夫妻。结构方程模型用于分析检测模型, 结果表明被试及其伴侣的情绪健康和婚姻中的关系自我调节存在相关, 而大部分原生家庭因素和关系自我调节不存在直接相关。然而, 感知母子关系质量在控制其他变量的情况下和妻子的（而不是丈夫的）关系自我调节存在相关。父子关系质量或者父母婚姻满意度和关系自我调节之间不存在显著的相关关系。本文探讨了该结果对婚姻治疗师和婚姻教育人员的启示。 对实务工作者的启示 关系自我调节（RSR）指某人意识到自己对关系的积极和消极影响。 情绪健康状况影响关系自我调节, 并应该在和夫妻开展工作时加以注意。 帮助伴侣处理情绪健康问题可能增加夫妻协作改善婚姻关系的能力。 开放的情绪表达和积极的交流技巧可能减少情绪病症并增加夫妻关系自我调节的使用。 关键词：关系自我调节；情绪健康；原生家庭；婚姻