This article describes the use of emotion talk in the context of using a manualised approach to family therapy where the presenting problem is self‐harm. Whilst we understand that there is an internal aspect to emotion, we also consider emotions to be socially purposeful, culturally constructed and interactional. We found that within the presenting families, negative emotions were often talked about as located within the young person. Through using ‘emotion talk’ (Fredman, ) in deconstructing and tracking emotions and exploring how emotions connected to family‐of‐origin and cultural contexts, we developed an interactional understanding of these emotions. This led to better emotional regulation within the family and offered alternative ways of relating. The article discusses the use of relational reflexivity, and using the therapist and team's emotions to enable the therapeutic process, encouraging reflexivity on the self of the therapist in relation to work with emotions. Practitioner points Emotions can be seen as both a reflection of feelings experienced by the individual and as a communication. An interactional understanding of emotions can be used therapeutically. Therapists should explore emotional displays and track the interactional patterns within the therapeutic system. Therapists should self‐reflexive about ways of doing emotions and use this awareness in practice. 青少年自残情境下的情感谈话：在家庭治疗中面对情绪 摘要: 本文描述了在针对自残问题的手册化家庭治疗中使用情感对话的方法。我们清楚情绪有着内化的一面, 但我们同时也认为情绪有其社会性的作用、是文化构建的和互动性的。我们发现, 来访的家庭通常认为负面情绪是存在于青少年自身内部的。通过用”情感谈话”(Fredman, 2004)来解构和追踪情绪, 并探索情绪是如何与原生家庭和文化背景相关, 我们对这些情绪有了一种互动式的理解。这一举动促进了家庭内部更好的情绪控制, 并提供了家庭成员之间互相联系的其他方式。本文讨论了关系性自反的运用以及利用治疗师和治疗团队的情绪来推进治疗过程, 并鼓励治疗师在处理情绪时开展自我反思。 关键词：情绪；自残；系统家庭治疗；SHIFT项目 对实务工作者的启示 情绪既可以被看作是自身感受的反映, 也可以被看作是一种沟通 对情绪的互动式理解可以协助治疗 治疗师应探索情绪的表现, 并追踪治疗系统之内的互动模式 治疗师应对其处理情绪的方法和在实践中应用该方法的过程具有自我反省意识