In the Netherlands, relations between Muslims and non‐Muslims have become polarized around issues of religion and gender. On the basis of a dataset with 669 parent–child dyads, we assess attitudes among the second generation concerning the gendered division of paid work and family responsibilities, that is, gender ideology, as compared to their parents. The aggregate picture indicates movement toward more egalitarian attitudes, indicating mainstream assimilation. At the same time, a sizable subgroup turns out to be more traditional than their parents, indicative of reactive ethnicity. Embeddedness in the ethnic community and education are shown to explain part of these divergent patterns.