This study used systemic perspectives and actor and partner interdependence model to examine actor and partner effects of depression on couples’ relationship satisfaction in sixty‐three clinical couples. We also examined if a demand/withdraw communication pattern served a unique communication context that modified the impacts of depression on relationship satisfaction. Couples participated in a treatment‐as‐usual situation. The results showed that male depression had a negative impact on female relationship satisfaction. Males and females had different perceptions of male demand/female withdraw behaviours and it created different influences on each partner's depression in relation to relationship satisfaction. Practitioner points Depression is an interpersonal event that therapists must always assess while providing intervention in relational issues Females’ relationship satisfaction is influenced by males’ depression and couple‐based therapy can be beneficial for treating men's depression and women's relational well‐being Couples therapists need to intervene in demand/withdraw behaviours at different levels corresponding to which gender is executing demand/withdraw behaviours 伴侣抑郁症与关系满意度：研究要求/退缩沟通模式的调节作用 本研究运用系统视角和主客体互倚模型, 以63对临床治疗中的伴侣为样本, 研究了抑郁症的主客体影响对伴侣关系满意度的影响。研究人员还考察了要求/退缩的沟通模式, 作为一种独特的沟通情境, 是否在抑郁症对伴侣关系满意度的影响上起到了缓解作用。伴侣按照普通程序参加了治疗。结果显示, 男性抑郁症对于女性的关系满意度有负面影响。男性和女性对于男性要求/女性退缩的行为有不同的看法, 这种不同造成了他们各自抑郁症与其关系满意度的相关程度的差别。 对实务工作者的启示 抑郁症是与人际关系相关的事件, 治疗师应当时时评估这一事件, 并提供针对关系问题的干预 女性的关系满意度受男性抑郁症的影响, 伴侣治疗能够对这两者都起到有益的作用 伴侣治疗师应该对要求/退缩行为在不同的程度上进行干预, 干预手段应与展现该行为的性别相匹配 关键词：伴侣；抑郁症；关系满意度；要求/退缩